how-to-win-friends-and-influence-people
Best Thing: Reviewers often praise "How to Win Friends and Influence People" for its timeless principles on interpersonal relationships and effective communication. Many find the advice practical and applicable in both personal and professional contexts, highlighting the book's ability to enhance social skills and foster better connections with others. Worst Thing: Some critics argue that the book can feel overly simplistic or manipulative, suggesting that the techniques may come off as insincere or disingenuous when applied in real-life situations. Additionally, a few reviewers feel that the examples are outdated and do not adequately address modern social dynamics.
- There’s only one way to make people to make people do what to do, make them want to do it
- Nobody ever blames or criticizes themselves. So criticizing them is futile, puts them on the defensive, entrenches them.
- Reward is more effective than condemnation
- Franklin: Speak no ill of no man. Speak all the good of all
- Instead of judging someone, try to understand why they do what they do
- People want to be important. The craving to be appreciated is never met. Meet it
- This can be through fame, crime, attention, sympathy, sex, even insanity
- Charles schwab: important bc he knew how to deal with people, ppl do better work in the spirit of appreciation
- Nourish people’s self esteem, make them feel good (even when you are going to critique)
- If there is any one secret to success, it’s to see things from the other person’s point of view as well as your own
- Will. Make girls think about having sex with you by asking subtle questions
- Arouse an eager desire in others. Excitement, etc
- To be a great conversationalist just be genuinely interested and ask questions
- Emerson: every man is superior to me in some way; so you can learn from everyone
- Let them do most of the talking, or at least a good deal, about what they are interested in
- they will think of you as a super engaging conversationalist even if they did all the talking, if they liked what they talked about
- Become genuinely interested in other principal what
- You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than two years trying to make them interested in you
- Genuine interest in other people just about anybody. Just say hi and learn about everyone. We all like to be admired
- Making people like you and making a good first impression
- Smile
- Abe Lincoln said people are about as happy as they decide they want to be
- People care more about their own names put together
- Persuasion: welcome disagreement but avoid argument - get them to make your points for you
- Admit your own mistakes off the bat; then they defend you
- “I dont blame you one bit. if I were you and in your place, I would feel the same.”
- Most people crave sympathy
- You can’t teach anyone anything, you can only help them find the knowledge/truth inside themself
- Get them on a roll of ‘yes’; even the socratic method is about establishing the pattern of yes, which has biological power
- Let the other person think ideas are theirs and take credit from them
- Appeal to nobler motives. Respect for ideals (motherhood), honesty, etc. Not just your desires
- Dramatize your ideas- show, don’t tell
- Charles Schwab: the way to get results is stimulate competitor aka desire to excel
- Great people are motivated by challenge, desire to excel
- Being a leader
- Deliver criticism indirectly, leading and following with praise and starting with your own faults
- Change but to and, otherwise people tune out
- Praise should be specific so it is sincere and reinforcing
- Give someone a stellar reputation to live up to
- Make improvement seem easy (you are close, it’s worth the effort)