how-to-know-a-person

Best Thing: Reviewers praise the book for its insightful and practical tips on understanding human behavior, making it a valuable resource for improving interpersonal skills. Worst Thing: Some readers criticize the book for being overly simplistic and lacking in depth, feeling that it does not adequately cover complex psychological concepts.

  • illuminators over diminishers
  • real conversation is not in the words but in the emotional responses, volleys and connections that run through it
    • mirror, empathize even with disagreement
  • listen loudly. Don’t try to top or add your experience, probe theirs for more
  • open ended questions. Let people give narrative
    • Good Questions: Avoid questions that yield one-word answers. Instead of “Where did you go to school?”, ask “How did your hometown shape you?”
  • good section on depression
  • learn people’s stories. Get to know them. Open ended narrative not data collection and sense making
  • sections on big 5 personality traits, major tasks stages, story arcs…